Author Jennifer Slattery
Reaching Our Teens
It’s the one job I most want to excel in and yet the one
responsibility I mess up most. But when it all goes well, when, by the grace of
God I manage my emotions and hold my tongue, it’s beautiful. Bonding. Healing.
Moms, I don’t think I’m alone in this. Nothing tugs at our
hearts quite like our kids, and it’s that intense tug that often does us in.
For me, most of my less than grace-filled reactions are usually rooted in fear.
And when I’m in that hyper-alert fearful state, I tend to react… before I
think.
It was a Sunday night, and my husband I had just returned
from an overnight away—our teenage daughter’s first night home alone. Well, sort of alone. She had a friend over.
This trip felt pretty monumental. With our daughter leaving for college next
fall, this step of independence only served to remind us of how much she’s
grown and how short our time with her truly is.
And I was giggly-excited, thinking about how her night might
have gone with her friend. Did they feel like roommates? Did they enjoy their
freedom and having the house all to themselves? I had so many questions I
wanted to ask our daughter, but it appeared I’d have to wait. By the time we
made it home, she’d already left for church. Youth group followed, keeping her
out until almost nine.
Needless to say, by the time she returned, she was more than
a little tired. But even so, I expected her to come in our room, sit on our
bed, and tell us all about her first semi-adult experience. The response I got?
Aloof. Maybe even a little snotty. Could I even say rude?
It started out with a simple question and ended with her
walking away, not having answered.
My husband waved it off as no big deal, but the more I
thought about our interchange, the more upset I became. How ungrateful, I
thought. We’ve given her so much, and this is how she responds after having had
this new experience of freedom?
Though in truth, I was frightened. I felt like I’d lost my
daughter’s respect. Like she felt she no longer had to listen to me. If you
have a teen, you know how frightening that can be. So, fueled by the anxiety
only a mom can work into a frenzy, I sent her a text explaining my feelings.
Her response: I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be
disrespectful.
I paused, read it again. No excuses? No anger? Just a
simple, “I’m sorry”?
Something felt… not right, so I got out of bed and went
downstairs to her room. And I simply sat on her bed. To listen, because I
sensed there was much more going on with her than an unanswered question.
I was right. Before long, she was in tears, sharing all her
fears and insecurities. That overnight that made my husband and I more acutely
aware of our daughter’s impeding departure? It’d done the same for her, making
adulthood all the more real. And she wasn’t sure she was ready. I rubbed her
back, let her know her feelings were normal and that she’d do great. Soon, what
could’ve turned into a major argument, dividing a wedge between us—at a time
when she really needed me—turned into a wonderful, heart-to-heart, bonding
moment.
As I walked back upstairs, I was reminded of the need to
resist surface level parenting, making assumptions about behavior without
taking the time to reach the heart. And thanking God for His gentle guiding
Spirit and the knowledge that I’ll never have to parent alone.
Jennifer Slattery writes soul-stirring fiction for
New Hope Publishers, a publishing house passionate about bringing God’s healing
grace and truth to the hopeless. She also writes for Crosswalk.com, Internet
Café Devotions, and the group blog, Faith-filled Friends. When not writing, Jennifer
loves going on mall dates with her teenage daughter and coffee dates with her
handsome railroader husband.
Her
debut novel, Beyond I Do, is currently on sale at Amazon for under $4 (print
and kindle version)! You can get that here:
http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-I-Do-Jennifer-Slattery-ebook/dp/B00MMRRCZU/
When
Dawn Breaks:
As the hurricane forces Jacqueline to evacuate,
her need for purpose and restitution propel her north to her estranged and
embittered daughter and into the arms of a handsome new friend. However, he’s
dealing with a potential conspiracy at work, one that could cost him everything,
and Jacqueline isn’t sure if he will be the one she can lean on during the
difficult days ahead. Then there are the three orphans to consider, especially
Gavin. Must she relinquish her chance at having love again in order to be restored?
You can buy a copy here:
On Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/when-dawn-breaks-a-novel-jennifer-slattery/1120694122?ean=9781596694231
On CBD: http://www.christianbook.com/when-dawn-breaks-a-novel/jennifer-slattery/9781596694231/pd/694231
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